I can tuck mytits in my pants
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
