hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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