Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're so nebulous sometimes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
