I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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