I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
