Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
