Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
