You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
