he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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