i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
