Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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