Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
