I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I can't turn off my feet"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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