my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dick very happy bro
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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