Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
