Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
