Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
