DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
