The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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