I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
