Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
