he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
