they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
