honey bunches of taint.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
