I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
