did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
