I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
