so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
