I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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