Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
