I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
