somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
