It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
