im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
