ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
