Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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