theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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