Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
