Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
