pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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