He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
splinters make it hard to masturbate
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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