how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
