I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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