maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
