When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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