Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
