she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize