I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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