We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
