I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
