porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
