I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
