my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
