Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
